Make that phone call: 7 tips on how to avoid awkward chats with the extended family.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Just call the extended family to say hello.

Like most extended families, mine only meet up at weddings and funerals. Many years fly by, before we face each other again. Every year, I resolve to stay in touch with the extended family. I plan to call each person on their birthdays and on the major holidays such as Thanksgiving.

Typically, before I knew it, the year was done. My resolution had slipped and splattered on the floor. Attempts to revive the resolution were half-hearted. It was so much easier to plan start afresh next year.

This year had to be different. Instead of just thinking about calling the extended family, I made the calls. This is what I learned from making those calls.

1. Glue a smile to your face. Distant family don’t need to hear your list of complaints about life. The calls are meant to be short and pleasant. A smile, even a fake one, changes the tone of the voice, making it lighter and happier.

2. Ask the caller about other members of the extended family. This shows how connected they are to the rest of the clan. It is useful information. It lets you know the traps to avoid when sharing the family’s gossip. There was an awkward pause with one cousin. It slipped out that she was at the secret wedding that I was not invited to.

3. Remember the correct name of the spouse. I had a lovely chat with one cousin. There was a real connection between us. Then I blew it. I called her husband by the wrong name. The name belonged to husband number two. She is now married to husband number three. As I blabbered away, I kept wondering about the ugly sighs at the other end of the line. Tersely she told me the right name. My apologies were accepted and the chat ended. I wiped the proverbial egg off my face. Next time, I will write down the name of the husband before making the call.

4. Mid-week is the best time to call. People are over the stress of starting the work week and you are not intruding on their down-time on the weekend.

5. Keep it real. There is a natural tendency to boast about the kids, the job promotion, and the trips overseas. This attempt to accentuate only the positives, can turn into a competition about who has the better life. It is not a great strategy for building a relationship. I found that talking about an issue or two, opened up the conversation. My challenge about keeping the winter blues away, led a cousin to talk about her battles with depression.

6. Have an escape plan. After a few minutes of awkward conversation with a cousin, who was about to bring up the same tired old issues again, I used my escape card. I had to go as someone was ringing the door bell. It quickly ended the chat.

7. Make plans to call again. These plans entirely depend on how the conversation went. With one cousin, I knew there would only be one call each year – that was more than enough for both us. Of course, I did not say this outright. It was more along the lines of ‘we really must keep in touch more often. We have to touch base before the year is over.’ Another cousin and I will chat every couple of months. I scheduled the calls in my calendar so that I do not forget.

Calling the extended family made me feel virtuous. I had done it! I had made and executed a plan. It was proof that action is the key to making-over a life. Change comes from doing. It does not come from wishing, and hoping and planning.

© Jacqueline L. Scott
Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

Seven good reasons for running in the winter.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Just do it – go for a quick run.

For the last four hours I have been thinking of every excuse why I should not go running. The excuses are the usual suspects; too busy, there is a deadline to meet, and the run is not that important.
Those were the same excuses that I had the last week! This week I was determined to stop thinking about the run, planning the run and avoiding the run. Just do it!

To convince myself to go for the run, I made a deal. I had to come up with some good reasons for running. It I could not, then I did not have to run. Oh, the mental gymnastics one has to go through at times!
These are my seven reasons for running:

1. To get high. Running releases a ton of hormones that makes you feel good and believe that most things are possible if you put your mind to it.

2. To tone the butt. My plump backside will soon look as firm as a sack of mashed potatoes, due to all that sitting at the computer. Running keeps the bum perky.

3. To moisturize the eyes. Staring at the computer screen makes the eyes dry, as you forget to blink or frequently shift the focus of the eyes. Dry eyes are scratchy and uncomfortable. Running outside forces you to constantly move the eyes if only to avoid dogs and their calling cards.

4. To escape danger. My head can be a dangerous place, when thoughts are trapped inside, swirling around in circles and getting nowhere. After a run, it is usually safe to enter my head again.

5. To solve problems. There are many pressing problems at this time of year, such as how to cull the ghastly Christmas gifts without offending the givers. The solution came on a run – hide them under the bed until the spring. Then give them to the charity store. By then the givers will have forgotten their presents.

6. To practice winning. Making new year’s resolutions was the easy part. Sticking to them is so much harder. If I ran around the block, I could prove to myself that I had what it takes to commit to and accomplish goals.

7. To spy on the neighbours. Canadians hibernate in winter. You have a better chance of seeing a drunken angel, than spotting a neighbour. On a run around the block, you notice which neighbours cleared their snow, decorated their homes for the holidays, or put their house up for sale. All this useful information comes in handy for gossiping later on.

I went for the run. It took an hour to change, run, shower and re-dress again. Yet, it had taken four hours to persuade myself to go for the run. Lesson learned – sometimes it takes less energy just to it.

© Jacqueline L. Scott
Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

What I learned about relationships from a winter’s walk by the lake.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Take an hour to walk by the lake.

A weekly walk by the lake is one of my new year’s resolutions. To get a head start, I took a stroll yesterday. It was a cool winter’s day. The good people of the city had cleared their patch of pavement of snow. The less good had left it to be trampled by heavy boots and stained by dogs.

Down by the lake, virgin show covered the sand. It glittered and gleamed in the bright sunlight. Sun glasses were a must. I realized I forgot mine at home. Squinting would have to get me through this walk.

The footpaths by the lake were cleared of snow. In winter, there was room for all on the path. The cyclists, runners and those with strollers kept a respectful distance from each other. There were no roller-bladers today. Those on snow-shoes and skis carved their own path over the deep packed snow.

By a clump of shrubs, a couple fed the mallard ducks with stale bread. She was a chic Eastern-European. Black hair and burgundy lips framed her large eyes. She wore thigh-high boots and a fake fur jacket.

The man was nondescript, save for the large round glasses misting up on his small nose. He hung onto her words, smiling sweet encouragement when she fumbled to find the right English phrase. They shared the nervous laughter of a couple on those awkward second dates.

Another couple I espied. From a distance, it was clear that they were in another stage of their relationship. It was filled with rage.

She stomped ahead, once in a while turning to curse. His angry arms poked the air. His unsmiling mouth hurled a shout. Caught up in this bitter dance, the couple was indifferent to the stares of passersby.

Three men – black, brown and beige in skin colour – sunned themselves on a bench. They were at ease, doing nothing but shooting the winter breeze.

A flock of Canada geese flew overhead. Their loud honking shattered the silence of the lake. The birds fly with their long necks extended into the wind. They are graceful in flight, keeping a tight V-formation. The geese must have great spacial awareness, as less than a wing tip separated each bird. Yet, they never crashed into each other.

The hour flew by and my walk was done. I went back to home as the sun went down. My new year’s resolution was still shiny and new. And I had taken the first steps to make it ring true.

© Jacqueline L. Scott
Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

Skiing in the park is a great winter’s lark.

Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Work up the courage to go skiing, after a gap of many years.

The first storm of winter covered the land in deep fluffy snow. Gazing through the window, the winter wonderland was enticing, but only because I was warm and stuffed with rice and peas, chicken and eggnog.

Two hours later, I was still at the window. I had to go outside. It was time to suck in some fresh air, after spending too many hours indoors with the family during the holidays. I love my family. Well, most of the time, I do. Like many families, mine do best when we have some time apart from each other.

No one wanted to go skiing. The familiar eye rolls said it all. Maybe they were right. I had not skied in years. What if I fell broke an important bone like the toe and tailbone? Bones, that like so much in life, are taken for granted, and only appreciated when absent or not working.

For half an hour, I trampled by the city streets with skis and a backpack slung across my shoulders. Joy bubbled in my heart. The afternoon was warm and sunny. It was only zero degrees. This is warm by Canadian standards when the temperature can drop to -40 degrees.

Courage fell when I reached the park. I felt too old to be out skiing for a lark. The hills were filled with people on toboggans and snow-boards. They were young. In mid-life one gains perspective. There was no shame in deciding that skiing was for the young and reckless.

Then I saw some slim parallel tracks in the snow. They were a bit of encouragement when I needed it. The tracks proved that I was not the only idiot skiing in the city park. Out came the skis. Out went the thoughts and fear of falling.

I skied along the flat areas in a twisted loop. My body quickly remembered the basics of skiing. Just pretend that you are walking, only with two six-foot boards attached to your feet. It was a perfectly normal thing to do!

An old couple passed by with skis from the dinosaur era. They were wooden and the poles were made from bamboo. The duo was relaxed as they glided along. We shouted encouragement to each other. When I am old, I want to be like them – fit and confident enough to have fun in the snow. But, minus the ancient skis.

Wisdom banged on my head. It is not a good idea to ski straight down the hill when you are not sure of how to stop. A semi-frozen pond was at the bottom of the hill. I did not want to make that kind of splash. I focused on mastering control of the skis. It took about two hours. Only then, was I confident enough to go a quarter of the way up the hill, and ski down very slowly.

I want to ski from the top of the hill. And stop at the bottom. Not flat on my face. Stop, using a perfectly executed snow-plough. There are three months of snow ahead. Time enough to master the ski hill and the art of stopping.

© Jacqueline L. Scott
Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

2013: Make this the year of wine, laughter and music.

Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Commit to achieving the new year’s resolutions.

Ring the bells, ring them loud, ring them strong. The new year is here. It is time for the rituals. Take some paper and a pen, make your resolutions for the year.

Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Dream big and dream strong. The world is your cheese-cake, all you have to do is open wide and take a big bite.

OK. Back to reality. I don’t like cheese-cake. The richness of it upsets my stomach. That second glass of white wine was now fluttering and blustering through my head. Good thing I was drinking it in bed!

Making new year’s resolutions is part of the joy of the holiday season. I was very good at making resolutions. Each one had a clear goal, measurable results, and a timetable for completion. My friends used to cheer for me when I shared my detailed plans with them.

Reality had the unfortunate habit of jeering at my resolutions. Planning was easy. Doing was harder. Usually, by March I abandoned my resolutions. In the cold light of winter, they seem silly, impossible to reach or became empty of meaning.

It was so much easier to fall back into the comfortable routine of wishing, hoping and praying that change would happen all by itself. Of course, that never worked. And with spring just around the corner it was easier to give up rather than re-group.

This year I will do something different. My resolutions focus only on fun things to do. If I can laugh, especially at myself, maybe I will succeed. Here are ten things I plan to do for 2013:

1. Learn to tell three jokes. Without having to explain why they are funny.

2. Take in more culture. Eat yoghurt every week, go to a concert each month.

3. Play the piano. Learn five tunes by heart, this does not include scales. Give a recital for the dog.

4. Always wear polished shoes. You never know where your feet will take you.

5. Walk down by the lake. The weekly stroll is the time for meditation and daydreaming.

6. Listen well. Offer no advice unless begged to do so.

7. Forgive myself. There will be many screw ups and setback in the year. Forgive. Start again.

8. Eat more vegetables at every meal. Wash them down with wine at dinner time.

9. Play the hand that life has given me. And stop wishing for another.

10. Listen to my heart. Let it guide me through the year.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

2012: Success came from perspiration.

Challenge: What I learned from blogging in 2012.

I started this blog to get me out of my head and back into the world. The world as it is, and not the world as I wish it would be. Based on that criteria alone the blog has been a success.

Each week I was forced to write and to take photographs. I found that I could write a story in two hours. It was not polished, but it could be done.

Prior to the blog, I needed an entire day just to think about what to write, to draft and redraft the title, never mind actually writing two paragraphs. I guess I was waiting for inspiration.

The blog proved that perspiration is a better at getting results.

The photography surprised me. I did not expect to become so fascinated by graffiti.

Walking through the back alleys of Toronto, the dead end streets and the lane-ways, I discovered many hidden murals. Many of the street artists were as talented as those in art galleries.

I wrote 31 blog posts in 2012. Based on the number of eyeballs reading the blog, these were the top five posts:

1. Farm lessons: When the kids find out that pigs turn into sausages, crayons and chewing gum.

2. A yoga virgin making out in the park.

3. Meet the neighbours, the Hells Angels bikers.

4. What does your financial freedom look like?

5. Entrepreneur: success means having a business plan and a family plan.

So, goodbye 2012. You got me started on the long road to making over my life. Thanks.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

Paper chase: It is like a jungle sometimes in the office

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Reduce the paper clutter in the office.

Many times I have tried to reduce the piles of papers in my office. The usual pattern was to start, get overwhelmed by it all, and then give up. Each piece of paper was carefully examined as if it were an ancient papyrus detailing how to build a civilization.  Soon I was swamped by the memories triggered by the papers. To toss one, felt like parting with a fragment of myself.

Some papers were reminders of my plans, dreams and the hopes of living the life that I want. Trashing them felt like I was letting go of the dreams. Yet, holding on them also meant being stuck. I am tired of feeling that I am in a dingy basement running a marathon on a treadmill. The papers have to go – one pile at a time.

First, were the many heaps of newspaper clippings that once meant something. Now I can’t figure out what it was. Out they go. They are joined by the magazines, brochures and annual reports that I read or was meant to read long ago. There is no point reading them now as the information is out-dated.

Tax papers must be kept for six years. They were placed in the top hard-to-reach filing cabinet. Out went the business plans, stationery and client files from shuttered businesses. There is no need to keep these trophies of my entrepreneurial mishaps.

Next were the folders of academic essays that I no longer understand. Was I keeping them for the grades or because I was still interested in the subject? Their level of English is now over my head. I need a dictionary just to get through the first few paragraphs! To think I once wrote like this! Into the trash they go. My dream of teaching at a university was partially realized and then abandoned. I don’t need the reminder.

What to do with the children’s report cards from kindergarten, birthday cards from friends that they can’t remember and tons of their art work?  All are now gone. I was careful to dispose of them when the kids were not at home. They were buried under newspapers in the recycling bin. The kids have heaps of such stuff hidden under their beds.

Then there were the coupons for things that we rarely used or for restaurant that we don’t patronize. Most had expired. I still had the manuals for phones, microwave ovens and televisions that were replaced long ago. All were tossed into the paper recycling bin.

It felt good starting and finishing clearing one area of my office. For the next month, I will spend an hour each week clearing another stack of papers. I know that if I leave it, the papers will start reproducing again.

The cleared office looked prettier and more spacious. Most important, the paper tossing felt like I was giving myself a second chance. Leave the past alone, I cannot change it. I can look to the future; there are no regrets in that direction.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

How much is your life worth and how to get cheaper life insurance.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Review life insurance policy and payments.

How much is your life worth? Priceless is not the correct answer – at least when dealing with life insurance. I had to answer that question a decade ago when we first bought life insurance. It was essential as I was pregnant. Using an insurance agent, we got a good deal as we were young and healthy.

My husband and I had the same amount of insurance. Yet, his monthly payments were higher. Men die younger than women according to the mortality tables. Therefore, men pay more for life insurance. It was cold comfort knowing that I was more likely to end up as a rich widow thanks to gender differences in life expectancy. My husband was not quite so thrilled with this piece of data. Then we remembered that the life insurance was not just for the surviving spouse – it was also for the child.

We took out a ten-year term policy. This meant that the coverage remained the same for a decade. The premium, the amount paid monthly for the insurance, never changed. We took out enough insurance to pay off the house and to provide an income to the surviving spouse for two years. The decade passed. The kid grew. The life insurance was automatically deducted from a bank account. We never paid it any attention.

At the end of the ten-year term, the life insurance was automatically renewed even though the monthly cost jumped from $100 to $250. The huge increase caught us off guard but apparently not enough for us to do anything about it. It was just one more thing on the endless to-do list of life.

These are financially tough times. We are forced to review all our buying and spending. I took a look at the life insurance. I assumed that as we are now older, all life insurance quotes would be about the same. If that were the case, there was no point in changing it.

We were in for a big surprise! Based on Internet quotes we were overpaying for our life insurance. We were paying over three times the going rate! Choosing the cheapest quote we signed up for a new ten-year term. We passed the medical with flying colours. My premium was below the original quote due to my optimal health. My insurance payments dropped from $1,400 per year to only $400.

It took three months to get the new life insurance. First we had to sign up for the new one, complete a medical check up with a nurse, get the medical approved, sign the new insurance policy, and finally cancel the old one. Inertia almost won as I had underestimated the time and energy it took to get a new policy. But, it was worth it.

The lesson learned is don’t automatically renew a policy or payments because it is convenient to do so. Many companies rely on this inertia in customers. This inertia had cost us dearly. Now, we have saved $1,000/year simply by getting a new life insurance policy.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

How the power of art feeds a hungry soul.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Challenge: Go to an art show.

Strolling though the city on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I went to an art show in the park. Art shows are not normally my thing as they are filled with people who have a different perspective on reality. I guess that is why they are called artists! They take their work seriously. For me, art is simply decorative. It is a nice way to fill up the blank wall over the sofa, the bed or the space in the hall.

I used to buy art from Canadian Tire, IKEA and Winners. I choose prints that matched the colours in the room. The paintings were usually landscapes. You know the type – pretty views of the lake at sunset or trees in their autumn finery. The still life paintings were just as predictable – vases of flowers or bowls of fruit spilling onto a tablecloth.

I saw the same type of art in hospitals, hotels and the homes of friends. Was this vindication of our good taste? Or was it an indicator that our choice of art was safe, conventional and bland?

I decided it was time to choose art that was a better reflection of my developing personal style. I now have many pieces of original art in the house. All are from thrift stores and yard sales. They were bought simply because I liked them. Most are abstracts and landscapes.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

At the art show, there were hundreds of painting, sculptures, photographs and ceramics for sale. The abstract paintings seduced me. One was of moody blues, grays and creams. It reminded me of the swirling sea, or looking into the abyss of despair.

Another painting was of cream, beige and white vertical strokes. It triggered the warm memories of hiking along the birch forests of northern Ontario. Still another of reds, oranges, pinks and black reminded me of sunsets or of a child’s face just before the full-blown tantrum.

I spoke to a few of the artist. They were pleased to share their passion with anyone who would listen. It took many hours to make a painting – even those abstract ones that looked like the artist simply splattered paint on the canvas and then smeared it about with their finger-tips.

I did not buy anything from the art show. I am not yet ready to spend serious money on art. In time I will. Art is food for the soul. I want my soul to be well-fed.

© Jacqueline L. Scott

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude in Hard Times

© Jacqueline L. Scott

With Thanksgiving approaching, many Americans struggling with health, financial, and emotional problems find it challenging to feel grateful. Some people have a habit of looking at the negative. That can be because our brains are predisposed to solve problems, and we take what makes us comfortable for granted.
Religion

All world religions stress the importance of gratitude. In Judaism, prayers of gratefulness are an essential component of worship: Orthodox Jews recite them one hundred times a day. Gratitude was referred to by Martin Luther as a “basic Christian attitude.” The Koran states that the grateful will be given more. Muslim believers are encouraged to give thanks five times a day. Sufi, Hindu, and Buddhist traditions also emphasize giving thanks.

Moreover, religious traditions suggest that you should be grateful notwithstanding your current problems and circumstances – not to deny them, but in addition to and in spite of them. To feel gratitude only when you feel good is considered narrow-minded. In the Bible, Paul teaches, “In everything give thanks.” The Hebrew Midrash instructs, “In pleasure or pain, give thanks!” Islamic tradition says that those who give thanks in every circumstance will be the first to enter paradise.

The purpose of prayer is to open people to the presence of God. When it’s heartfelt, it is life-altering. Prayers of gratitude affirm God’s presence in everything and make our actions infinitely more effective.
Why Be Grateful?

Meister Eckhart, a well-known mystic, believed that thanking God was the most important prayer. Prophets and monks know that gratitude brings you closer to God. Even if you’re not religious, gratitude enables you to see your life in a larger context beyond your immediate troubles. It expands your life experience. It counteracts an ego-centered contraction and preoccupation with losses, fears, and wants. Being grateful only when good things happen reinforces your ego’s demand that good things happen, setting up greater disappointment when things don’t turn out as you desire. This, according to Buddha, is the cause of suffering.

The sages also knew that gratitude actually shifts your perspective from feeling depression, envy, anger, or self-pity to happiness. It can open your heart to joy and generosity, because you begin to feel that you’re blessed. Moreover, how you view your circumstances determines your ability to manage and overcome them. Often it’s worry or anxiety about the future that colors how you see a situation. Negative emotions limit your imagination and ability to cope and solve problems. Hence, your state of mind ultimately is more important than your outer experience.

Cultivating an attitude of acceptance enables you to feel grateful even when you’re in pain. It’s helpful to view all experience is an opportunity to grow and learn. Helen Keller wrote, “Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” Rather than seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance, accepting reality and developing gratitude for what you do have vs. focusing on what you don’t empowers you to take appropriate action.

Gratitude has only been subjected to empirical research since the advent of the positive psychology movement. What religion has known for millennia, science has confirmed. Numerous studies suggest that grateful people are more likely to have higher levels of happiness and sense of well-being and lower levels of stress and depression. This naturally translates into better physical health.
Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

Gratefulness comes more easily to some than others. When you’re discouraged or weighed down with negative thoughts, there are several things you can do to develop an “attitude of gratitude:”

1. There’s wisdom in the phrase “count your blessings.” Listing the things for which you’re grateful can generate feelings of appreciation and gratitude. It’s often suggested to write them down daily. You can start with the fact that you have a brain, can write, and can read. Add small things, for example, seeing a child smile, receiving affection from a pet or greetings from a co-worker, or accomplishing a task, such as doing laundry or taking a walk. After several days, you’ll begin to look for things to add to your list and find that your mood significantly improves – faster than taking an anti-depressant.

2. Read your list to someone. Sharing your grateful feelings doubles the effect. Arrange to regularly share your gratitude lists and give thanks together. Praying together heightens your sense of connection and well-being.

3. Express thanks daily. Doing so out loud has more power. In the morning and evening, and before meals, recite prayers of gratitude, or just say thank you to your higher power.

4. Thank others. Throughout the day, thank others for their help — particularly people you don’t ordinarily thank, such as cashiers. This is a recognition that you depend upon many people in order to survive and acknowledges your interdependent existence. The same is implicit in saying grace for the labor that goes into food on your table.

5. Compliment people. Giving compliments shows appreciation and lifts others’ mood as well as yours.

6. Write notes. Put them on your refrigerator, mirrors, and computer to remind you to be thankful.

7. Think about people you appreciate. The act of visualizing them with positive feelings opens your heart to gratitude.

8. Write people unexpected thank-you notes. Writing your appreciation prompts loving feelings that engender gratitude.

9. Do small acts of generosity. Give someone your place in line, help someone pay for a purchase, or bring food to a neighbor.

10. Thank yourself at the end of the day for things you did well. List at least three things. They may be small and include the above acts of gratitude.

In time, you’ll notice a change in your mood until your “cup runneth over” – or, at least appear half full rather than half empty.

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/thanksgiving-and-gratitude-in-hard-times.

Jacqueline L. Scott is attempting to be her own life coach. The blog charts her progress as she moves from being frustrated to being content with her life. It focuses on fun, money, work and wellness. You can leave a comment and follow her on Twitter @JabberScott.